Thursday, April 10, 2014

The Riley Family, Part III



That's Mike and Lisa, hanging out at the hospital. Mike's in his awesome cookie monster pajamas and robe...must be nice, right? Oh wait, it's not. You probably remember why he's there, Stage 3 cancer. The joys.

In October, we helped to send the entire family to Game 5 of the World Series (Cards lost, thanks Red Sox for ruining their night).

In November I started a GoFundMe campaign, to date, with your help, we've raised $10,999. We've paid over 9 thousand dollars to the Riley family (another check to be cut shortly).

In December, Mike had surgery. Details can be found here. Shorter: things went fairly well, then they didn't. Mike spent 22 days in the hospital and lost 40 lbs. He missed Christmas and New Years at home with his family. But, as I've learned over the last 6 months, the Riley family really knows how to take things in stride.

About 6 weeks ago Mike started round 2 of chemo, he's halfway through that one now. He complains (daily, ugh) about numbness, dizziness, feeling cold (he lives in St. Louis, are you sure it's not the weather?), and priapism (that's a lie...I hope).

Mike being Mike though, barely a complaint (I'll let you figure out where I'm telling a lie).

Four weeks ago, a chilly (65) Saturday night, Mike and Lisa call. "Hey, I've got some news for you."

"Sweet," I think to myself. Gotta be good news.

"Lisa was just diagnosed with breast cancer."

WTF?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? (Given Mike's gallows humor, it's possible).

"Nope. Stage 1. Surgery on April 2nd."

FFS

(Surgery was last week. It went well. No news on that front yet.)

Talking to them two of them that evening you would have no idea they BOTH have cancer. Actually, one of my favorite stories of the year...the hashtag for Riley Family campaign was #fmcuta. Fuck Mike's Cancer (up the ass). I thought that was hilarious, but I didn't think the Riley's would appreciate it. They did. They loved it. I still remember Lisa's laugh when I first suggested it. They've dropped the latest bad news and Lisa is like, "Oh, wait until you hear this. I have a hashtag for you."

"What is it?" (I'm thinking something very...conservative. Not sure why, I should know better by now).

#tna

I think about that for about .06 seconds. Holy shit! Did you just say tna? Like "tits and ass?"

(sounds of Lisa howling in the background).

Awesome. See what I mean? Handling it in stride.

"We're going to need a bigger boat." All I can think about now is, "what can we do now?"

First, I raised the campaign goal to 50k. This might be ambitious, that's OK, cancer treatments are expensive enough for one person, and 10K (the original amount) was on the low side. So...50K.

Second, Scott Spendolini created a very cool APEX app, ostensibly called the Riley Support Group (website? gah). It's a calendar/scheduling app that allows friends and family coordinate things like meals, young human (children) care and other things that most of us probably take for granted. Pretty cool stuff. For instance, Tim Gorman provides pizza on Monday nights (Dinner from pizza hut...1 - large hand-tossed cheese lovers, 1 - large thin-crispy pepperoni, 1 - 4xpepperoni rolls, 1 - cheesesticks).

Third. There is no third.

So many of you have donated your hard earned cash to the Riley family, they are incredibly humbled by, and grateful for, everyone's generosity. They aren't out of the woods yet. Donate more. Please. If you can't donate, see if there's something you can help out with (hit me up for details, Tim lives in CO, he's not really close). If you can't do either of those things, send them your prayers or your good thoughts. Any and all help will be greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

The Riley Family, Part II

You didn't miss Part I, at least not here you didn't.

Many of you know Mike Riley. If you don't, here's a little history. He's the past president of ODTUG (for like 37 years or something) and for the last two years, he's served as Conference Chair for Kscope. Yeah, that doesn't really follow, but you know I'm a bit...scattered.

Did you read the link above? OK, well, here's the skinny. Mike has rectal cancer. Stage III. If it weren't for the stupid cancer part, the jokes would abound. Oh wait, they do anyway. Mike was diagnosed shortly after #kscope13, right around his 50th birthday (Happy Birthday Mike, Love, Cancer!). Ugh. (I want to say, "are you shittin' me?" see what I mean about the jokes? I can't help myself, I'm 14). Needless to say, cancer isn't really a joke. We all know someone affected by it. It is...well, it's not fun.

Go read his post if you haven't already. I'm going to give my version of that story. I'll wait...

So, Sunday morning, Game 3 of the World Series went to the Cardinals in a very bizarre way. I was watching highlights that morning as I had missed the end of the game (doesn't everyone know that I'm old and can't stay up that late to watch baseball?). Highlights. Mike lives in St. Louis. He's a Cardinal's fan. Wouldn't it be cool if he and his family could go to the game (mostly just his family, I don't like Mike that much). So I make some phone calls to see what people think of my idea. My idea is met with resistance. OK, I'll skip the people. Let's call Lisa (Mike's wife).

Apparently Sunday's are technology free days in the Riley household, no response. I go for a bike ride, but I take my phone, just in case Lisa calls me back. After the halfway point, my phone rings, I jump off the bike to answer.

So I talked to Lisa about my idea, can Mike handle the chaos of a World Series game?

We hang up and she goes to work. BTW, I asked her to keep my name out of it, but she didn't. We'll have words about that in the future.

She calls back (I think, it may have been over text, 2 weeks is an eternity to me). "He doesn't think he can do it."

So I call Mike directly (Lisa had already spoiled the surprise.)

"What about Box seats? You know, where the people with top hats and monocles sit? Away from the rift-raft, much more comfortable and free food and beer."

Backstory. Mike had finished his first round of chemo less than a week before Sunday. To make things worse, he decided it was a good time to throw out his back. He wasn't in the best of shape.

Mike said he thought he could do it.

OK, nay-sayers aside, let's see what we can do. I emailed approximately 50 people, mostly ODTUG people; board members, content leads, anyone I had in my address book. "Hey, wouldn't it be great to send Mike and his family to Game 5 of the World Series? We need to do this quick, tickets will probably double in price tonight especially if the Cardinals win." (that would mean Game 5 would be a clincher for the Cardinals, at home, muy expensive).

Within about 20 minutes, a couple of people pledged $600.

Holy shit!

At the prices I had seen, I was hoping to get between $50 and $100 from 50 people, hoping. I had $600 already. Game starts. Now it's up to $1100 in pledges. Holy shit, Part II. This might just be possible. Another 30 minutes and were about an hour into Game 4. Ticket prices have already gone up by $250 a ticket. Given that maybe 4 people have responded and I have $1600 in pledges, I pull the trigger. I bought 4 box seat tickets for the Riley family. (I had to have a couple of beers because I was about to drop a significant chunk of change without actual cash in hand, I could be out a lot of money, liquid courage is awesome).

Tickets sent to the Riley family. Pretty good feeling.

Like I said, I was confident, but I was scared. Before the end of the night though, there was over $5K pledged to get Mike and family to Game 5. Holy shit, Part III.

By midday Monday, pledges were well over $7K. I'll refer you back to Mike's post for more details. Shorter: jerseys for the family and a limo to the game.

Here's the breakdown: 35 people pledged, and paid, $8,080. Holy shit, Part IV. Average donation was $230.86. Median was $200. Low was $30 and high was $1000. Six people gave $500 or more. Nineteen people gave $200 or more. The list is a veritable Who's Who in the Oracle community.

Tickets + Jerseys + Limo = $6027.76

Riley family memory = Priceless.

So, what happened to the rest? Well, they have bills. Lots of bills. With the remainder, $2052.24, we paid off some hospital bills of $1220.63. There is currently $831.61 that will be sent shortly. It doesn't stop there though. Cancer treatment is effing expensive. Mike has surgery in December. He'll be on bed rest for some time. His bed is 17 years old. He needs a new one. After that, more chemo and more bills.

"Hey Chet, I'd love to help the Riley family out, can I give you my money for them?"

Yes, absolutely. Help me help them. I started a GoFundMe campaign. Goal is $10K. Any and all donations are welcome. Gifts include a thank you card from the Riley family and the knowledge that you helped out a fellow Oracle (nerd, definitely a nerd) in need. You can find the campaign here.

If you can't donate money, I've also created a hashtag so that we can show support for Mike and his family. It's #fmcuta (I'll let you figure out what it means). Words of encouragement are welcome and appreciated.

Thank you to the 35 who have already so generously given. Thank you to the rest of you who will donate or send out (rude) tweets.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Fun with SQL - My Birthday

This year is kind of fun, my birthday is on November 12th (next Tuesday, if you want to send gifts). That means it will fall on 11/12/13. Even better perhaps, katezilla's birthday is December 13th. 12/13/14. What does this have to do with SQL?

Someone mentioned to me last night that this wouldn't happen again for 990 years. I was thinking, "wow, I'm super special now (along with the other 1/365 * 6 billion people)!" Or am I? I had to do the math. Since date math is hard, and math is hard, and I'm good at neither, SQL to the rescue.

select 
  to_number( to_char( sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ), 'mm' ) ) month_of,
  to_number( to_char( sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ), 'dd' ) ) day_of,
  to_number( to_char( sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ), 'yy' ) ) year_of,
  sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ) actual
from dual
  connect by level <= 100000
(In case you were wondering, 100,000 days is just shy of 274 years. 273.972602739726027397260273972602739726 to be more precise.)

That query gives me this:
MONTH_OF DAY_OF YEAR_OF ACTUAL   
-------- ------ ------- ----------
11       06     13      2013/11/06 
11       07     13      2013/11/07 
11       08     13      2013/11/08 
11       09     13      2013/11/09 
11       10     13      2013/11/10 
11       11     13      2013/11/11 
...
So how can I figure out where DAY_OF is equal to MONTH_OF + 1 and YEAR_OF is equal to DAY_OF + 1? In my head, I thought it would be far more complicated, but it's not.
select *
from
(
  select 
    to_number( to_char( sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ), 'mm' ) ) month_of,
    to_number( to_char( sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ), 'dd' ) ) day_of,
    to_number( to_char( sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ), 'yy' ) ) year_of,
    sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ) actual
  from dual
    connect by level <= 100000
)
where month_of + 1 = day_of
  and day_of + 1 = year_of
order by actual asc
Which gives me:
MONTH_OF DAY_OF YEAR_OF ACTUAL   
-------- ------ ------- ----------
11       12     13      2013/11/12 
12       13     14      2014/12/13 
01       02     03      2103/01/02 
02       03     04      2104/02/03 
03       04     05      2105/03/04 
04       05     06      2106/04/05 
05       06     07      2107/05/06 
...
OK, so it looks closer to 100 years, not 990. Let's subtract. LAG to the rescue.
select
  actual,
  lag( actual, 1 ) over ( partition by 1 order by 2 ) previous_actual,
  actual - ( lag( actual, 1 ) over ( partition by 1 order by 2 ) ) time_between
from
(
  select 
    to_number( to_char( sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ), 'mm' ) ) month_of,
    to_number( to_char( sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ), 'dd' ) ) day_of,
    to_number( to_char( sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ), 'yy' ) ) year_of,
    sysdate + ( rownum - 1 ) actual
  from dual
    connect by level <= 100000
)
where month_of + 1 = day_of
  and day_of + 1 = year_of
order by actual asc
Which gives me:
ACTUAL     PREVIOUS_ACTUAL TIME_BETWEEN
---------- --------------- ------------
2013/11/12                              
2014/12/13                          396 
2103/01/02                        32161 
2104/02/03                          397 
2105/03/04                          395 
2106/04/05                          397 
2107/05/06                          396 
2108/06/07                          398 
2109/07/08                          396 
2110/08/09                          397 
2111/09/10                          397 
2112/10/11                          397 
2113/11/12                          397 
2114/12/13                          396 
2203/01/02                        32161
So, it looks like every 88 years it occurs and is followed by 11 consecutive years of matching numbers. The next time 11/12/13 and 12/13/14 will appear is in 2113 and 2114. Yay for SQL!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Why I'm voting for Danny Bryant and You Should Too

I'm talking about the ODTUG Board of Directors.

This.



That's really all you need isn't it?

Fine.

Today wraps up the voting period for the ODTUG Board of Directors. If you're asking me what ODTUG is, stop reading now. If you are a member of ODTUG, then please give me a few minutes to pontificate (that's a word I heard Jeff Smith use once, hopefully it makes sense here).

Your favorite Oracle conference, KScope, is largely successful based on the efforts of the Board, along with the expert advice of the YCC group. In addition, if you think ODTUG should "do more with Essbase" or "charge more for memberships" these decisions are made and carried out by the board.

So if you like being in ODTUG, and you want to help it get better and grow, and be as awesome as possible, you only need to do one thing today. Go vote. Midnight tonight (10/29) is the deadline. Do it.

You get to vote for several people. I suggest you read their bios. I'll save you the time for at least one vote, and that's for Danny Bryant.

Besides that awesome photo (#kscope12 in San Antonio) up above, here are several more reasons.

1. He's into everything. OBIEE. EBS. Essbase. SQL Developer. Database. Not very many people have their hands in everything, he does. He will be able to represent the entire spectrum of ODTUG members.
2. He's a fantastic human being. It's not just because he takes pictures of himself wearing ORACLENERD gear everywhere (doesn't hurt though), he's just, awesome.
3. This (Part II)
4. He also always answers the phone, tweets, and emails I send him. He might be sick, or he might just be that responsive. The ODTUG Board member responsibilities will fit nicely on his shoulders I believe.

So go vote. Now.