Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Tired of the Fat Jokes

Sometimes I care, most of the time I don't.

What's sad, to me, is I used to have a resting heart rate in the low 30's. Now, and for a number of years, I walk up a flight of stairs and I'm winded. FFS.

My last triathlon was an ironman distance race, you know, 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and a marathon just for fun. I didn't finish that race, I didn't really train for it either. I quit at the beginning of the last lap around the lake...I had already passed the Finish Line twice, to cheers, which wasn't very nice.

The 2 years prior I had trained, but I got hurt right before the race both times. It also happened to coincide with 1, getting married (2 months later), 2, turning 30 (1 month after), c, changing careers (4 months later) and IV, buying my first house (4 months later). I like to go Big it seems. 30 was a banner year. Oh wait, how could I forget, one week prior to the wedding (and a couple of weeks after the race), Kris and I found out LC was on his way. Big.

I don't expect to get back to former glory:

If you've met me in person, I've probably shown you this picture within about 12 minutes of meeting you. I'm proud of that picture and I probably show it to everyone because...I'm embarrassed of how far I've let myself go.

Last doctor's visit, 257. I weighed about 170 there.

I used to joke and say I retired during my 30's, that's when competition is brutal in triathlons. Seems to be the sweet spot for getting good. I went the other way, I'll skip all the craziness and come back in my 40's.

I'm 39. 40 in November. I'd like to race again.

That said, I'm the proud owner of this little baby:

I had one...10 years ago too, but sold it to start my own business in 2004. Actually, here's the eBay pic of it:

I've also purchased an HR monitor, that will give me some feedback (about how out-of-shape I really am). In true nerdly fashion, I'm tracking it here. My desire to keep that up to date...and just get data in there, will help motivate me. Gamification?

So there it is. Hopefully it will be "Fat Guy Loses 60 lbs" come my 40th birthday.


Enrique Aviles said...

I met you in person and you didn't show me the 170 lb. picture. :) I also need to shed a few pounds but there's no way I'll lose 60. Good luck. Keep that spreadsheet up to date, if you generate enough data you might be able to load it in Exadata. :D

Gary Myers said...

"Kris and I found out LC was on his way"
You just couldn't wait :)

But can't you find something better to track progress than a spreadsheet. Even the word 'spreadsheet' is inappropriate.

So what can we do to encourage you ? Offer toy koalas ?

jpiwowar said...

Go Chet! You'll feel way better when you get there. Turn the fat jokes into "I'm 3/4 the man I used to be" jokes.

Also: a spinning bike? That's *awesome*. The days when I was spinning on a regular basis were definitely the days when I was in my best shape.

No spreadsheet, though. Clearly this needs an Apex app with charts and stuff. Or you can dashboard it up with all of your OBI skilz.


oraclenerd said...


It was hectic. Too hectic.

Now if I had made dinner when you were in town or Collaborate, you would have seen it. :)

oraclenerd said...


Very funny story there, probably not blog material there. If you ever make it here or I make it down under, I'll share over 1-4 beers.

It will probably end up in APEX. I needed something quick and dirty (isn't that how they always start?) plus tonight was really the first chance I've had to breathe in quite some time (work-wise). I need to spin up an 11gR2 XE VM...then I'll do it proper.

Koalas pee on you. Or they pee on me. Whichever.

oraclenerd said...


I remember spinning class (had a crush on the instructor, naturally) and I could sit there at 170+ for 30 straight minutes with ease.

With the announcement today of OBIEE and their mobile stuff, definitely. :)

Tim... said...

I'm hearing this loud and clear. I'm also firmly in the "I used to..." land at the moment. I've recently started a bit of a fitness push. I've lost about 20 lbs so far, but it feels like I've only scratched the surface.

Just got to get your head down and go for it. One advantage of having some former glory is you know what it takes. There are plenty of people at the gym doing bugger all and eating crap and wondering why they are still fat.

If you want it, you'll do it. Good luck.



Aman Sharma said...



Oh gosh, I am in the same club(if there is any) of the "lost glory" :-) . Travel, staying in hotels, eating completely bad (and then to make up, more food) food, all have now contributed to about 30kg extra over me. I must start something and I am just going to do it hopefully, from my next travel session.

I think, we , whoever "were there, did that", need to kick each other every other week or so to keep the spirits alive of us :-) .

Aman Sharma said...

okay, may be I need to go to eye doc too. Sorry, read the last "cher" as "chet" .

oraclenerd said...


20 lbs? That's awesome.

I most definitely need a quick win. That's been the hardest part of sticking with anything I have tried over the past couple of years. At a month or more and no progress, I usually silently give up.

Strangely or not, my eating improves the more I exercise. I have never been able to successfully "diet" my way to weight loss; exercise (i.e. moving) has always been the main component.

Keep it up. Hopefully next time we meet we'll be slim and trim!


Don Seiler said...

Good luck. I can say this, sugar sugar sugar sugar sugar. Cut out sugar and other simple carbohydrates. Especially fructose.

Google paleo or primal diet, eat like nature intended and your body will respond beautifully.

oraclenerd said...


I've been called worse than Cher, believe me. :)

I haven't looked that hard, but is there a social weight loss site out there? I imagine weight watchers and such have apps like that; but I'd rather not be affiliated with a particular, food. Something like TripIt or Foursquare for fat(ter) people.

Travel is brutal. I wish that was my only excuse. I think I had reached maximum density by the time I really started to travel, so I won't blame it. Ask me in a year after I've lost 30 lbs and I'll probably say different.


oraclenerd said...


I have never been able to successfully diet my way to slimdom. My metabolism sucks, pure and simple.

That said, I agree, cut down on the simple things like sugar (and my mountain dew addiction, diet MTD sucks!) and other simple sugars.

Rui Amaral said...

Good on you Chet!

I have, like others, gone through that - went from powerlifting to potato chip finals now going to powerlifting after being away for 12 years :-o. I am way on the other side of 40 :p) and it makes a great deal towards improving your frame of mind. We're rooting for you to reach your goals.

Jake said...

You could check out RunKeeper or any of the tons of motivational mobile/web apps out there. Maybe Health Month.

Gamifying it will only work if you find a game you like.

oraclenerd said...


Potato chip finals? I like it.

My wife can't figure it out...I'm not the best eater in the world but I'm certainly not the worst, let's say middle ground for argument's sake. I just have a really cruddy metabolism.

That "former glory" picture? I was doing weights 4 times a week (alternating heavy with more interval type stuff) and probably close to 30 hours a week doing cardio of some sort. I would imagine I spent around 50% of that time on the bike riding about. It took all that to reach that state. That's why I don't expect I'll make it there again, but 260? 200 would be much better.

As for frame of mind, I couldn't be more in agreement. This effort should most definitely help there.


oraclenerd said...


I guess my game is tracking data. I would track everything if I could (ok, maybe not everything), but exercise, eating, etc., that's relatively easy right?

I've tried MyFitnessPal, but there is something missing...and I don't know what that something is yet.

DomBrooks said...

A couple of "tips" from a fellow overweight, 40-in-November self-critic - have a look at Tabata Protocol, pretty lung-bustingly effective on a static bike when you've only got time for a short workout. Originally developed for Japanese speed skaters.

Also, I find exercising in the morning before breakfast much more effective as well as less stimulating on appetite for the rest of the day.

But... a static bike? Couldn't you have got yourself a fancy Italian road bike to get and about along with a turbo trainer to stick it on when you couldn't get out on the road?

DomBrooks said...

And ... I think there's a saying "it takes 7 weeks to form a habit" so keep at it.

oraclenerd said...


Exercising in the morning...I'm getting there. Today was my first daytime workout. The 5 AM bedtime doesn't lend itself well to the early morning rides. I'm trying to change that too.

As for the reasons behind a static bike, I feel like I have to get some traction first before I drop a boatload of money on a bike. Plus, the idea is to have it close by, since the family occupies the time I am not working.

If money weren't an issue, I would have loved to get a "real" bike and just get one of those spinning mats, whatever they're called. With 2 small ones around, that's just asking for missing fingers though (more katezilla than LC).

Besides, if I got on a road bike now, I'd probably crush the thing at 250+. :)