Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Stories of LC

LC being Little Chet. And no that is not some perverted reference...

He said something pretty funny the other day, which reminded me of a bunch of little stories about him. Since I post so many stories about Kate, I figured it's about time I do one on him.

Policy
I get a cup of ice cream the other night and he immediately wants some too. Mom asks if he has had any that day, and he replies, "Yes."

"But there is no policy on ice cream."

Me: "No What?"

LC: "No policy."

Kris and I look at each other and just start laughing. He's 6 years old and he's talking about policy? He's been hanging out with his mother way too much.

To make sure we knew that he knew what he was talking about we asked him what he meant.

LC: "Well, I can have 2 popsicles a day. But there's no limit on ice cream."

Wow.

The Letter R
In Pre-K 4 a couple of years ago, his teacher asked the class to say words that began with the letter R.

The teacher started them off, "Rapunzel."

"Rabbit!"

"Rainbow."

"Chet, do you have one?"

"Craphead"

Sea World
After a day at Sea World with my parents and 2 small kids, we naturally gravitated to the Hospitality Suite. For those who don't know, Anheuser Busch used to own Busch Gardens and Sea World. Both parks, or both companies as there are more than one park for each, serve free beer. There is a two beer limit.

Anyway, Kris takes this opportunity to spend some time with Chet and she walks him over to the Clydesdales (while I drink her beer).

Mom and son, holding hands...a perfect picture.

"Mom, that's the biggest penis I've ever seen."

All the people around them began laughing...OMG.

Jackass
I believe this happened in 2006, while in Gainesville. I would drive Chet to school, St. Patrick's Catholic school. This was always a concern of mine because I have never been too careful with my choice of words around him.

My old boss had once shared a story with me about her daughter, at this same school, saying JFC (Jesus F$#%*&% Christ). I always thought the same would happen to me.

It never did. He had amazing control (besides the craphead comment above) at school.

At school.

Not at Publix though.

We're shopping one day with him sitting in the basket when this woman comes out of the aisle and gets in front of us.

"Move that F$#%*&% Cart!"

It was about all I could do to maintain composure. He was 3, maybe 4 at the time. Thankfully, the woman did not hear him. If she had, I probably would have fallen down from laughing so hard.

However, I managed to compose myself and give him a stern lecture about how inappropriate that was.

I couldn't wait to get home to tell Kris.

The First Word
I've probably talked about this before. Yes, I have. Here. The similarity between my name and shit. I've heard it all before...I actually used to introduce myself referencing Weird Science.

Me: "Hi, I'm Chet"

Them: "Ted?"

Me: "Chet"

Them: "Jeff"

Repeat this a few more times.

Finally I'd say, "You know, "Chet" like the guy from Weird Science?"

Them: "Ohhhhh...yeah, the big pile of shit!"

Me:...

That reference is only useful with people of a certain age. Twenty-somethings don't really get it.

Anyway, I always thought I could get away with teaching Chet that for his first word. Chet. Shit. Pretty close right? I can't remember if he actually said it for his first word...it's a funny story none-the-less.

I know I'm not the only one with funny child stories. Anyone care to share?

4 comments:

jpiwowar said...

In the same theme as "the first word," when my 3-year-old was headed to the bathroom a few days ago, she insisted that we not put the potty ring on the seat, because "it might be a really big poop."

She's going to hate me telling that story when she's 12. ;-)

oraclenerd said...

Nice.

I think she'll hate you ever more for posting it on the internet so that the entire world can see it. ;)

jpiwowar said...

I figure she's going to get irritated w/ me at that age regardless, so I might as well earn it. ;-)

oraclenerd said...

Good, you've accepted your fate.

I just know I am going to annoy the crap out of them when they're teenagers. I really feel bad for that first boy that comes to the house to take Kate out...sharpening knives, cleaning guns, practice MMA...I've considered inviting all of my other friends over as well.

I will be evil. ;)